Originally posted Feb 15, 2025 on Substack (ew!!)
For this one I’m trying an approach where I build up a post over time, coming in to add stuff whenever anything comes to mind.
Here is a tweet I would’ve thought about making if I still had X:
the mighty jay chou scallion pancake
—亢 (@jiaqikangjiaqi) 02-02-2025 13:14
and:
the sara ahmed of it all…
—亢 (@jiaqikangjiaqi) 15-02-2025 21:04
Also, it turns out that I was getting all of my news from X, so I now live in almost complete ignorance of what’s going on in the world, especially culturally. I’m sure there’s no need to explain why it’s extremely cursed to be getting your news from Instagram Reels, especially considering that my algorithm will frequently show me things from like November, which I only realise if the Reel itself references something specific, like a Thanksgiving recipe. What’s intriguing is that my Reels usage hasn’t necessarily gone up that much more to compensate for the lack of X scrolling; I think the horror of knowing that I now only have one source of brainrot, and this one thing could therefore truly do some real damage to my hippocampus, has meant that I try to maintain some distance.
Writing the above has also fondly reminded me of my teenage years, when I was a devoted reader of the Guardian app. I shudder to think that Peter Bradshaw probably remains the film critic I’ve read the most of. I am going to need my friend Ian Wang to write more + faster.
Speaking of Ian……… my interview with Dorothea Samaha in the Provincetown Independent has been published. <3
I feel very warmed by the kindness and clarity with which Thea has written up our chat! I was very nervous about this and feel recognised by the article, I really enjoyed reading it and would love to hear what you think if you read it too :) Thank you so much, Thea!!
Some notes on / around the article:
In The Trinity of Fundamentals by Wisam Rafeedie (trans. Dr. Muhammad Tutunji and the Palestinian Youth Movement), the narrator goes underground and lives in a series of safe houses organised by the PFLP over the course of 9 years—the novel is not centered on the narrator’s imprisonment by the Zionist entity, and I perhaps wouldn’t call him a ‘Palestinian dissident’ since that suggests it was the Palestinian authorities that imprisoned him for dissidence against them, instead of his revolutionary struggle being against Zionist occupation and, in real life, Rafeedie is eventually imprisoned by the Zionist entity. Also, the main decade portrayed is the 1980s, not the 1990s.
Secondly, the article mentions that one of my main goals in my fiction is to portray ugly, difficult feelings. One of the reasons why this is really important to me is because I was really struck by Ian’s review of Past Lives, in which he writes:
For all the handwringing about resisting model minority narratives or lunchbox moments, East Asians on screen largely remain virtuous, diligent, sympathetic, put-upon. They might be, say, Asian Americans, but they’re keen to stress their Americanness first (not least for the sake of awards recognition). Any instances of bad behaviour are quickly rationalised: they’re only cruel to their children because of generational trauma; they only act two-faced because of internalised racism. For an East Asian actor today, progress means being perceived as familiar and likeable. If you want to be oppositional, discomforting or eccentric, opportunities are scarce.
(…)
The themes that Past Lives touches on – race, desire, identity – are challenging, painful subjects; they demand self-reflection and honesty. But these are the very qualities that the film lacks. At each opportunity, Song’s script represses its characters’ ugly feelings like selfishness, lust or jealousy in favour of comforting resolutions, prioritising catharsis over confrontation.
I brought up Ian’s piece during my interview with Thea, and talked about how, not only do I want to not shy away from ugly feelings and think that what’s important is always the acknowledgment and consideration of difficulty, contradiction, tension, and knots—but, provoked by Ian’s piece I also think that there’s a particular political valency to Asian and diasporic Asian ugly feelings that I am interested in exploring.
(This, of course, also aligns with Sianne Ngai’s academic monograph Ugly Feelings, in which she showcases the relationship between racialisation and ugly feelings. I skimmed her chapter on irritation and Nella Larsen’s Quicksand this summer and connected so, so much to it.) (And, again, the Sara Ahmed of it all…)
This post is becoming one big shoutout to Ian—he also recently sent me this poem by Diane di Prima, which resonated with me a lot:
“cause / that’s where my friends are, / you bastards, not that / you know what that means” !!! <3
Anyway, I think that’s all I have for now. I just finished Crook Manifesto by Colson Whitehead today and it was a great sequel to Harlem Shuffle, which I loved. And anyone who isn’t watching Severance needs to get on it ASAP.
What has everyone been up to? What are your thoughts and feelings lately?
Peace out,
Jiaqi x